So I've Been ------------> Here

Yes. I've been gone for some time. I got this facebook account. Friends kept wanting me to come to the "dark side". lol So, I did. I got involved in many games. I have had a blast!!! I needed something else to fill my time and I certainly found it there.

I've talked to many different people and have a couple of people I would now call friends. Not just "friends" that one has in this account, but a couple of people I really consider a friend. No, I haven't met them in real life. That is a bit difficult as they live some distance away. But I know that if I needed to talk, I could call and they would be willing to listen. Isn't that important though in life really? Having someone who is willing to listen? Cheapest form of therapy that I know of.

I also had to move from what I had considered my home for the past 5 years. I was treated terribly over this and I still cannot believe how this family would do this to me. But it sure does give you an idea of how they would treat someone they don't care anything about. I am glad to know that I am not related to them other than through my grandchildren.

Problem is with this, I moved over to my land. Basically right across the street and down a bit. I can see, if I really wanted too, the goings on there. And they can see me too. I will be stuck here when I wasn't prepared.

My land wasn't really ready for me to move over to. I had planned on doing that back in January, but I stayed because of my grandchildren and my daughter. It looks better here now, but it isn't like what I had dreamed. I also hadn't dreamed of living alone on this land either.

Dreams...so many lost. I don't dream much anymore. Not in the sleep fashion, but in the wide awake hoping and dreaming kind. Doesn't do me any good to dream. I don't dare to dream. I have come to realize that most all of my hopes and dreams have been smashed, squashed, cutup and set on fire, burned beyond recognition.

Dreams are good for the young and those who are in-love. I say dream away. Work towards those dreams. And pray that God will help you realize them and life won't work against you.

This is where I've been. I've had many things to say. I just haven't chosen to say them by writing them down. Maybe I should again.

I'll start by writing... I still love you. I still miss you. The land was to be our home. I'm here and you aren't. The breeze whispers this fact to me so often. The tears from my eyes that had fallen on this land have made the land sad. It's not a happy place. There is no laughter here. Only more tears come from my eyes, falling to the ground.

So, I'm here now, not there, not with you either and maybe not where I'm really supposed to be. But I don't know where I'm really supposed to be. I hate this not knowing.